So today looked like it would be a pretty good day. I had work, which while tiring means money. Trigger, my jack russle collie cross breed 5 year old dog, was going to the vet hospital clinic thing in UCD to get her leg checked out properly, which is something I’ve been waiting for for quite some time. All in all it looked good.
Now I generally have a fairly good Spoon count. If you don’t know what I’m talking about check out Spoon Theory. Today was no different. Till in the middle of my morning routine my mother starts to do stuff. Normally I put porridge into microwave, make lunch while the porridge is cooked and cools down. But mother started to throw “help”. This was barely enough to actually bother me properly. But hey it’s was a thing.
The next thing happened about 15:15, a text arrived from my father. Trigger almost definitely had cancer, Hemangiosarcoma to be exact. Now I’ll admit it wasn’t exactly a shock, it had been on the list of probable causes. However, we did also learn that there were no real treatment options, cutting off her leg would be risky and the cancer has probably spread already, considering this has been ongoing for like 9 months. Even still if it hadn’t spread it wouldn’t likely help cause it’s in the armpit area.
So I have an adorable 5 year old dog that I absolutely adore dying on me with nothing I can do. This has destroyed my spoon count. I know I should be talking to my friends, but I can’t. The niggly voice in the back of my head is telling me it won’t matter. However I don’t associate this with being people, so I don’t think it counts. So I small and lost and I’m going to have to watch my friend slowly die over the next while. I probably won’t be posting for a while